What To Think About When You Feel Like Giving Up As Your Parent’s Primary Caregiver
Taking on the role of being your aging parent’s primary caregiver is a brave decision that not all kids with senior moms and dads can make. That is why a lot of nursing homes have been built in the first place – to look after elders whose family members are incapable of doing so.
“Sometimes people are fortunate and the nursing home with new curtains and well appointed furniture turns out to be a good one. But it is not unusual to hear of a patient being moved to two, three, even four nursing care facilities in a matter of months,” wrote Rita Watson, MPH.
So if you don’t want that and refuse to take your mother or father in such an institution, kudos to you. You deserve to be praised for your dedication to caring for your parents.
Nevertheless, we have experienced what you are dealing with now. It is no secret how difficult it can be to look after a senior citizen, even if they happen to be your parents. That is especially true if the elderly have a condition that prevents them from eating or bathing on their own or at least remembering that their bedroom is not the bathroom. It is also challenging when they tend to sneak out but do not know how to go back home.
The more similar episodes you have to power through, the more you may feel like giving up. You are not a bad person for admitting that – you are merely human. Still, we hope that you know better than to let go of your parents and pay others to take your place.
Roberta Satow, PhD, said, “As caregivers, we often feel guilty for not rescuing our parents from the pain and discomfort of old age. But we cannot rescue them; we can only offer our love and support and hope they accept it.”
Whenever you want to give up as your old folks’ primary caregiver, here’s what you should think about.
Who Else Can They Rely On?
The roles of parents and kids tend to reverse when the former enters the old-age zone, and the latter hits their prime. If you used to require caring before, your folks need that now. You cannot ask your aunt or cousin to take them because you are their child, not them.
I Should Be As Dependable As They Have Been All My Life
Think of how much your parents have supported you for most of your life. When you were young, and you would cry about something, they are the first individuals to comfort you. Every time you had relationship issues, no matter how petty they were, your mom and dad would always stay by your side. Now that they cannot rely on themselves, you should not hesitate to do the same for them.
They Need Me Now More Than Ever
Yes, your aging parents need you now more than ever, especially if they have a debilitating illness. Alzheimer’s and dementia are only a couple of diseases that senior citizens are prone to acquire. They are practically incurable, so their minds may continue regressing as the years pass by. Without your help, how can they survive?
Nursing homes are not always the best option for your parents, so you might choose to be your parent’s primary caregiver. “Patients’ rights in nursing homes is even murkier,” wrote Arthur Dobrin DSW. Even so, being a primary caregiver is tough, regardless if the person you will be attending to is your beloved parent. Depending on what their condition is, you may need to act like their eyes, hands, and feet. You also have to have enough money for their medical and personal needs. However, all your hardships will not mean a thing when you see that your parents are safe and happy.