Things Your Dying Parent Want You To Remember
When your senior parent has one foot on the grave, there’s no way for you to not feel distressed about it. The person you have always relied on is on the brink of death. Your mom or dad who used to carry and feed you is now the one who requires caring. You are happy to remember their prime days, but the fact that he or she can pass anytime saddens you.
Despite that, we want you to forget your emotions for a second and look at your parent’s behavior. Is he or she worried about dying soon? Do you hear him or her say, “Please save me. I don’t want to die.”? No, right?
The reason is that your beloved mother or father already lived a full life. Death is more of a welcome happenstance than a scary occurrence in their eyes now. You may not know what that’s like because you have not reached their age, yet you might have the same attitude if you experience it.
Nevertheless, most dying parents have some things they want their kids to remember.
- Don’t Lose Faith
Every person has a massive tendency to question their faith during problematic times. You pray day and night for your parent’s illness to go away, after all, or merely give him or her a few more years to enjoy on this planet. However, from what you can see, it will be a miracle if your dying mom or dad can last several months.
What you should keep in mind is that you cannot blame God, Allah, Buddha or any deity for what’s happening. We will all die in the future – it is only a matter of when death will come. Thus, don’t lose faith and just hope that your mother or father has an amazing time in the after-life.
- Take Care Of Your Siblings Till The End
Your fading parent also wants you to remember to look after your brothers and sisters once they are gone. Most moms and dads, to be honest, do not stop being parents whether their children are in their 20s or 50s. They always wish to back up their kids even if they hardly gain anything excellent from it.
Since it will mostly be you and your siblings left in this world, your elder folks may hope that you will continue taking care of each other until the end.
According to Avidan Milevsky Ph.D., “When there are unresolved family dynamic issues below the surface it creates an even greater likelihood of a difficult and contentious period after the death of the parents. This is similar to coping with death overall. Pre-death characteristics are a strong predictor of post-death adjustment.”
- Stay Sympathetic
Neel Burton M.D. defines sympathy as “a feeling of care and concern for someone, often someone close, accompanied by a wish to see him better off or happier.”
If someone requests for something, you might think it is okay to decline even though you actually can help. In your head, they do not need as much external support as you do. It is your parent on the deathbed, after all, and theirs might still be alive or already dead.
Well, the question is, “Is that the kind of attitude that you learned from your mom and dad?” Our quick guess is no. Otherwise, you won’t be there with your dying parent, trying to do everything to extend their life.
Try not to ruin your folks’ image by doing things that are against their principles.
- Don’t Misplace Your Heart
The heart is the only organ you need to feel love towards other people. When grief consumes you, though, it happens to be the most natural part of you to corrupt. All the affection you express to everyone around you suddenly disappears. Your loved ones find it hard to communicate with you and reach you on an emotional level.
If the dying parent can talk and see this situation, he or she may ask you to stop being too difficult on yourself and others. It is nobody’s fault that death is just around the corner for them. Their impending passing does not entail that your life ends when theirs does. It will be more bearable when you keep the love alive in your heart. “You will be better able to process your grief if you don’t hide from your feelings, thoughts, and memories. ” David Sack M.D. wrote.
Now, you know the things that your dying parent wants you to remember. You only have to keep your mind open about these so that you don’t end up making decisions you can never take back.